The Top Ten Riddles

tabbygirl says -- how did this become the top 10 when there's, like, 39? anyway, it was forwarded to me by D, taken from chico garcia's website. chico garcia, in case you don't know him, is half of the popular DJ duo chico and delamar, heard in the mornings on RX93.1.

1. Ana - Q: Anong hayop na ang paa niya, nasa ulo? A: Kuto.
2. Doorknob - Q: What’s the difference between a joke and rice-planting? A: Ang magtanim ay di biro…
3. Powpot - Q: Ano ito - mabuhok, matigas, pasok-labas sa madilim na butas? A: TOOTHBRUSH.
4. Louise - Q: 2 fathers and 2 sons had dinner together. They were composed of 3 men. How is this possible? A: 1 is the grandfather, 1 is the father, 1 is the son.
5. Choomag - Q: Sino ang asawa ni Mr. Bean? A: Eh di si Avrila Bean!
6. Hookworm/Menard/Maximo - Q: Dinilaan ko’t pinatigas, bago ko ipas0k. Ano ito? A: Sinulid, bago ipasok sa karayom.
7. Duday - Q: Sinundot ni malambot ang puwet ni matigas. Sino sila? A: Karay0m at sinulid.
8. Cleng/Mr. Perk - Q: Ang nawalan ay natawa, ang nakakuha ay nasuka. Ano ito? A: Utot.
9. Emz - Q: Bumaril ako sa baba, sa taas tumama. Ano ako? A: Utot.
10. Jose de vengenge - Q: What’s 68? A: You do me & I owe you one.
11. Jose de vengenge - Q: Pinasok ko matigas pa, nang inilabas ko’y malambot na. A: Chewing gum.
12. Jose de vengenge - Q: What’s the difference between oooh & aaah? A: About 3 inches.
13. Jose de vengenge - Q: Patpat kong matigas labas-masok sa butas, pag iyong idiniin langit ang mararating. A: Cotton buds.
14. Marcus - Q: Anong “Pu” ang napapaligiran ng buhok? A: Puyo.
15. His Airness - Q: Why did Meryl Streep? A: Because Michael J. Fox.
16. Marcus - Q: Ano ang tawag sa hipon na laging nasasakuna? A: Accident Prawn.
17. Chinese Cowboy - Q: What do you call a cross between a bulldog and a shih tzu? A: Bull-sh*t.
18. Disenchanted - Q: What is the one thing that has to be broken before it is used? A: An egg.
19. Yñaki - Q: Iisa ang pinasukan, tatlo ang linabasan. Ano ito? A: T-shirt.
20. Specialist - Q: No sooner spoken than broken. What is it? A: Silence.
21. Specialist - Q: The maker doesn’t want it. The buyer doesn’t use it. The user doesn’t see it. What is it? A: Coffin.
22. Dru - Q: What opens up when you put your fingers through its holes? A: Scissors!
23. Mr. Perk - Q: What is the other tagalog word for sex that starts with a “k” and ends with an “n”? A: Kasarian.
24. Kemosabe - Q: Ano ang tawag sa pantalon ng kabayo? A: Paa.
25. Boomshakala - Q: When I go forward I am heavy, but when I go backwards I am not. What ami I? A: TON.
26. Gerver - Q: Anong hayop ang hindi nalalaos? A: BEAR. Kasi lagi siyang OSO!
27. Rogie - Q: Andiyan na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka. Ano ito? A: Operadang bakla.
28. Mcsupremy - Q: Why is it against the law for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina? A: Because he’s still living.
29. Mcsupremy - Q: There was an airplane crash. Every single pers0n died, but tw0 pe0ple survived. How is this possible? A: They were married.
30. Geyp - Q: How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach? A: One. After which your stomach would not be empty.
31. Porkchop - Q: What gets wetter as it dries? A: A towel.
32. Bluebloodedblue - Q: Kung gusto mo ako mabuhay ng matagal, patayin mo ako. Ano ako?A: Kandila.
33. Curt Smith - Q: Kapag ito ay hinimas, ito ay tatayo ng mataas at matigas? Ano ito? A: Buntot ng pusa.
34. Paolo - Q: What 4-letter word starts with an “F” and ends with a “K”, and if you can’t get one, you can always use your hands? A: Fork.
35. Astroboy - Q: The pope has it but doesn’t use it. Your dad has it and your m0m uses it. Your lady friend’s husband has it and she uses it. What is it? A: Surname.
36. Kemosabe - Q: What part of the body grows up to 3 times its size when excited? A: The pupils of the eyes.
37. Lara - Q: How do you top a car? A: Tep on the brake, tupid!
38. Boy 2tok - Q: Saang lugar maraming baka? A: Macau.
39. Boy 2tok - Q: Ano ang tawag sa paniking mababa ang lipad? A: Low Bat.