over over worked

it's 10:22am on a saturday morning. i've been here since 9:30pm last night, trying to finish 34 monits in 2 days. i still have work tonight.

i don't know what i'm doing to myself.

although it's nice to work on a saturday morning, my brain's already all but asleep. i'm no longer absorbing the calls i listen to because i'm tired and to some extent, hungry. i know that i'm to blame for being the perennial crammer, but at the start of the month i thought i had it conquered when i was able to finish 50% of my monits at the end of the second week.

but disaster struck on the 19th. i marked that on my calendar as the day the ball fell. there were no entries in my datebook for three days after that.

i don't want to relive how i felt during those three days (thursday, friday, saturday). i felt used, abused, useless. it wasn't a good thing but human as i am, i felt it keenly.

but as i mentioned in an earlier blog, i will finish this no matter what it takes.

i'll just go get something to eat. i'm too hungry to think.