so here are the poems, 10 of them.
revelations
i tried
to tell you all that was in my heart.
you said you were surprised.
i was speechless, too, for a moment.
my heart felt like it was going to blow up
within me, because the intensity of the revelation
hit me hard.
my being wept out of inexplicable joy
that i purged myself of the feeling
and a poignant pain out of the realization
that this revelation will not amount to anything
but that -- a great purging of emotions
which, at other times,
should be kept within.
you said you were surprised.
i was speechless, too, for a moment.
my heart felt like it was going to blow up
within me, because the intensity of the revelation
hit me hard.
my being wept out of inexplicable joy
that i purged myself of the feeling
and a poignant pain out of the realization
that this revelation will not amount to anything
but that -- a great purging of emotions
which, at other times,
should be kept within.
ang kape
ang kape, pag nasobrahan,manginginig ang iyong kalamnan.
utak mo'y magigising,
ngunit ikaw di'y magiging magugulatin.
malamang ngayon, imbis na dugo,
kape ang dumadaloy sa mga ugat ko.
brewed o instant, iced o mainit
basta may kape, ang araw ko'y hit na hit.
pag nawala ito sa `ki'y anong sakit.
parang ako'y malungkot, ewan kung bakit.
dahil sa kape, ako'y nagiging makata.
wala nang saysay ang tula, kaya tama na.
tag-ulan
dumating na naman ang tag-ulan.makulimlim ang langit, basa ang mga daan.
minsan pa'y bumabaha sa lansangan,
at napakahirap kumuha ng sasakyan.
masarap matulog sa buong maghapon
dahil malamig ang panahon.
kaso, hindi pwede ang ganitong buhay
dahil kailangan pumasok o maghanapbuhay.
ang hirap rin pag tag-ulan, at ika'y naka-porma
minsa'y napuputikan o kaya'y nababasa.
nakakainis, dahil bago ka makarating sa pupuntahan
magandang porma'y nagmistulang nilabhang basahan.
pero kung mayaman ka at de-kotse pa
wala kang gaanong problema.
mababasa lang ang kotse mo
pero ang damit mo'y tuyo at mukhang bago.
bago pa ito humaba, ititigil ko na ang pagsulat
at hihintayin ko na lang ang ulan at ang kanyang pagbagsak.
slow dance
the music was slow, soft and sweet.i wondered then as i willed our eyes to meet
if you would come and ask me to dance
with you. the thought and thrill put me in such a trance
that the stars seemed to twinkle more, and all was a dream.
and then you came to me; it had seemed
to be another of cupid's tricks. but it was real!
your hand i touched, your warmth i could feel,
and before long you and i were together,
dancing to the sweet, slow music. i never
wanted this moment to end; i prayed this to last forever.
i smiled at my thoughts. you smiled, too.
without exchanging word you found what was going through
my mind. then the slow, sweet song ended, to my dismay.
i didn't want this night to end, nor to go through a day
without you. and yet...and yet,
when the song ended, you did not let
go of me. in your eyes i can tell you want to go on
dancing to the slow, sweet song, but not alone.
let us, then, create our own song together,
one that never ends, so we can dance forever.
song of the aged soul
i have been to many placesand have seen a myriad of colors, figures,
felt the sorrows and joys of the earth.
i moved from one corporeal being to another.
i tasted the sweetness of life in a world
akin to paradise
where none feared to tread.
i recoiled with the bitterness
i suffered in a world disguised as hell.
around me the tongues of flame, aroused by passion,
consumed the humanness that concealed me.
in another time i fought other soul-beings
and sought the power of conquest through hatred.
once, i also felt love,
and tasted the salt of the tears that came with it.
i heard the laughter of innocence
and the guffaw of disbelief.
i spoke with the voice of a thousand thunders,
and i was hushed into a deathly silence.
all these came through a cycle
of birth, death, rebirth.
i would want it all to end
but that is one power not granted to me.
i can be born into any shape, born into any age,
but i cannot choose not to be born.
until the time appointed for my final death has come,
the painful cycle must continue,
the song must not end.
by candlelight
i lit a candle in the midst of my lonelinesswith no one to talk to.
i stared at the flame.
it burnt brightly.
i felt its heat.
it brought light to the darkness
that was the emptiness of my soul.
it brought warmth to the cold
that was the bitter winter of my life.
for it was then that i felt
more than ever
the darkness that washed over me,
the cold wind that blew into
the cracks of my withered being.
and that little flame
brought back the light and warmth
even for a moment.
at 3 a.m.
i stare at the world with cold, dark eyesand i wonder why tonight, of all nights,
i almost gave myself away.
i had struggled within myself.
it took so much pain on my part
to hide everything behind a poker face.
i smiled, though inside i was dying.
i laughed, though within i was in tears.
i tried to be what i was really not.
and now i'm all alone.
the cold, dark eyes that stared at the world
are now filling with tears.
smoke haze
my thoughts run wild in the smoke-filled airerunning left and right
a melange of sadness and, ironically,
bittersweet joy
like oil and water they cannot mix
my mind wanders off to two different ways
one inexplicable and yet sweet
the other sorrowful and heart-wrenching
why then this strange fabric of thought
coming together on some uncertain night
as music fills my ears
and smoke and tears fill my eyes
winter's tale
you came into my life so suddenlythat i barely caught my breath.
but now you're leaving me behind.
like the breeze that blew from the north
heralding the coming of winter
you are leaving me in the cold
after stealing the warmth of my love.
you may not know it
and i didn't want to tell you
but you are leaving behind
a cold, empty void
inside the shell that is me.
noise
i close my eyes and try to drown out the soundof the world
filling my ears with pleasant garbage
and unpleasant gifts
i cannot hear the thunder of my heart
above the sandstorm howls around me
i need to seek myself within
my being wants to speak to me
but try as i may
i listen in vain
